In Case You Were Wondering, Your Tongue Will Stick to a Pole...

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This story dates back to kindergarten. I had just watched A Christmas Story, and like many youngsters who were captivated by the film, I was left pondering the validity of Flick's playground predicament.

Was it possible? If I went outside and stuck my tongue to my metal swing set, would I be left flailing in the snow, unable to separate my mouth from the slide? Some kids might have even questioned their parents about the scene, accepted "Yes" as an answer, then been done with it. But not me. No, not me. I wanted actual proof of whether or not what happened to Flick could happen to me, and I wasn't going to accept "because I said so" as an answer.

So as I was playing in my backyard in the snow one day, I finally got up enough courage to give it a try. It worked. (Surprise!) I was young and stupid enough to have gotten myself in Flick's predicament in the first place, but I was old enough to be too proud to ask for help. After several minutes of weighing my options, I shut my eyes, took a deep break and yanked my tongue off the pole. The blood-dotted trail leading back up to my house wasn't pretty, but at least I got some ice cream out of it.

Just in case you're like me and "because I said so" isn't enough of an answer, I encourage you to stick out your tongue and cozy on up to a metal pole when there's snow on the ground. Just make sure you read these tips on how to get un-stuck before you head outside:

• Don't panic. As the "victim," you should try yelling at someone nearby, or kick your foot against the pole to get someone's attention. If no one is around, it is up to you to act fast.
• Before you attempt to get stuck, make sure you have a thermos of hot liquid with you. After you become glued to the metal, pour hot liquid over the area. It will warm the metal and release the skin.
• This one is a bit more iffy, but I've been told that if you simply focus the air you exhale on the tip of your tongue, and breathe so much that you almost hyperventilate, you can un-stick yourself without any additional tools.
• WD-40 or salt water might also come in handy if you happen to be carrying them around with you at the time. Because most people carry around WD-40 in their pockets, right?