This guy is the best of the best. If you've ever watched Austin Powers - Goldmember, you've probably come close to peeing your pants during this scene.

And despite this whopper on Enrique Iglesias' lovely mug, he has managed to hang onto Anna Kournikova for quite some time now. (MIA)

Miss Sarah Jessica Parker has quite the chin growth, but since high def is becoming mandatory, she probably won't be allowed on air much longer anyway. (MIA)

Cindy Crawford has the prettiest mole ever. She used it as here trademark during her career as a super model, and it hasn't seemed to affect her career as a super mom either. (MIA)

Brace yourselves for this one. This is an actual, real-life facial mole. Don't say I didn't warn you.

For a whole different kind of famous moles, go here. Did I leave out any of your favorites?

There are a lot of handmade and professionally made signs that find their way on the site because they don't make sense, are clearly incorrect, or are just plain funny.

Unintentional double entendres and misplaced signs in retail are a common source of fail blog laughs. Like the greeting card section below:

Or this misplaced men's costumes sign:

Everything that is on Fail Blog is submitted by users, and it seems someone else in St. Louis is a fan of the site as evidenced by the video submitted from the St. Louis firetruck crash, caught by a red light camera made its way on the site:

Public works projects that went awry are some of the funniest pieces of fodder that make their way to the site. I have seen misplaced bus shelters, bronze preserved typos, and paving projects gone wrong like this accessibility fail appeared on the site just a few weeks ago:

Since I discovered this site, I have been scouring our fair city looking for little idiosyncrasies that I can submit. I haven't found anything yet, but I can't wait until I do. You can get your daily dose of stupid by signing up for a daily email filled with the day's submissions on Fail Blog's site, just proceed with caution and swallow that sip of coffee before opening that email.

It turns out not everyone that works that fancy Photoshop software in the world is good, even if they do get paid.  Some of them are simply really bad, others are lazy, and some must just not pay very close attention to their work.  Here are some examples from the addicting blog Photoshop Disasters:

The first example is someone that thought the reflection looked cool, but didn't bother to go update it when he updated the size of the memory stick.

Hey, did you know Miley Cyrus has three hands?  Its true...or this guy just thought no one would notice that he cut someone else out an didn't have time to take out their hand...

At first I thought that was a mole, but after looking at the second frame, it might be a bug...or a mole that moves.  Either way gross!

Oh my god!  Look out behind you happy girl using a laptop on a beautiful campus lawn!  I can see the reflection of a scary girl so ugly you could never use her in an ad because no one would pay to go to this school in your laptop's monitor! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!

"Oh no, I sexily fell backward on the bed!  I hope my skirt runs up enough that you don't notice my freakishly small right forearm!  tee-hee-hee! ;)"  ...nope, I noticed it.

Good parenting does not allow you to actually say this out loud to others. However, please keep in mind that while you might be "ohhhing" and "ahhhing" over your little one, click on the [tab:video] to see how others might want to react.

This is not to say that ugly babies cannot grow up and be extremely attractive later in life, it just might take them a few years. So if a friend or family member is a bit hesitant about proclaiming your child to be "breathtaking," don't force them into it. It might be time to face the fact that your wee infant has a face that only a mother can love, so don't expect everyone you know to lie about it and tell you otherwise.

But at least your child doesn't look like the baby on the left. So what do you think? Do you have to lie about ugly babies and call them gorgeous?

In case you're looking for a new hobby, and this certainly qualifies, I'm here to give you a few of my favorites with a few key factoids about each one that you should know about each strip before digging in.

"Hi and Lois" chronicles the life of a family of six in modern day suburbia. Lois is a real estate agent, her hubby likes golf and beer, their oldest son fancies himself as a guitar-playing rebel and their twins are used a lot for the "he said, she said" type of humor. Trixie, the baby, frequently talks to sun beams, so don't be alarmed.

"Baby Blues" is about a young couple and their three forever-under-the-age-of-six children. A lot of the humor is along the lines of "the things kids say," but I'm not a parent myself, and I can really appreciate the humor. However, if you get into this one, it should make you wary of ever throwing a children's birthday party.

"Sally Forth" relates more to the working man and wife, as shown in the above comic. (She encouraged her husband to make friends at the office, and for some reason, wasn't very happy that it was an attractive young female.) This one is a bit more sarcastic and dry, which is right up my alley.

"ZITS" is a bit more new on the comic scene, but it's probably what I look forwards to reading the most. If I end up snorting milk up my nose from laughing so hard, it's usually because of Jeremy's twisted, teenage way of looking at things.

If any of you ToastedRav readers want any more recommendations , suggestions or critiques, I'm your woman.

The first thing that came to my mind when I thought about food mascots were the creepy ones; Orville Redenbacher's, Burger King's "The King" and the Quizno's mutant rat monkey thing.

Sure, these outrageous characters may get you talking and even laugh a little. But what about the food packaging babes of the logo world? They seem to be the lost in the mix.

It's time to recognize these hot mamas for making their products look so good!

1. The Sun-Maid Raisin's Girl.

This little sweetheart started out a plump, innocent seed picker to help brand the wholesome raisins in 1915. But now, the little raisinette is a wo-man! All grown up and and probably mimicking the disproportionate measurements of a Barbie, the new Sun-Maid girl is quite the babe. If we could look like her from eating 50 boxes of raisins a day, I'd order them by the case.

2. The Rosarita Woman.

Aye, aye, aye, Senorita! The food isn't the only thing about the product that has flavor! The original Mexican woman was drawn by one of the founder's son's, but her image (above) was recently reinvented to spice things up. Goal achieved!

3.  Aunt Jemima.

She's giving Mrs. Butterworth a run for her money. The robust black cook recently traded in her red bandana for pearls and a slimmer, sleeker look. In sync with America's health and wellness movement, she's looking as scrumptious as her pancakes.

4. Land O' Lakes Indian Maiden.

She resembles the likeness of Pocahontas (the Disney version) and her image has helped build quite a reputation. 

5. Chiquita Banana's Miss Chiquita.

With her tutti fruitti hat and salsa gear, Miss Chiquita's image has been selling bananas since 1963 and looked darn good doing it. 

To the companies that paste a pretty woman on the package and let her do the selling, I salute you! 

After reviewing the candidates, which food mascot do you think deserves Hot Brand Babe Award for 2008?

• Saturday, October 18 - In a show of support for presidential candidate Barack Obama, an estimated 100,000 people came to the Arch grounds for a rally, forcing the local homeless population to wake up far too early. When asked about his thoughts on Obama, one of the park's residents said, "We moved from cardboard signs to viral emails and you are still asking me that?"


• Monday, October 20 - Not to be outdone, presidential candidate John McCain stopped in New Town and gathered the largest crowd the township had ever seen... after everyone figured out where the crap New Town was. Local resident and ToastedRav correspondent Chris Files had this to say about the event.


• Saturday, October 24 - Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin stopped by the Arena-Kiel-Scottrade Center to drop the puck at the Blues game. This was the second team Palin dropped the puck for and when asked about the possibility that she may have triggered a loosing streak for the Flyer's, the Blues replied, "Meh, have you been to a game in the last few years?" The Blues were swept by the Kings, but not before Blues goalie Manny Legace tripped over the carpet laid out for Palin and injured his hip... no, really, that happened.

At first it may have appeared that Biden was snubbing our fair city, but after all of that... do we really want another candidate visit?

I had the chance to talk to America's Prohibition Party candidate, Gene Amondson, just before he announced his run for office. Yes, the Prohibition Party still exists but it Is more than a party, it is a movement. And maybe even a movement I could join... after I set my vodka tonic down so it doesn't spill. It seems that Gene has become somewhat of a forgotten candidate... and, like it always happens when the cool kids have a party, Gene and his very healthy liver were not invited to a single presidential debate.

This year's election isn’t Amondson’s first time flirting with the highest office in the land. He ran in 2004 as the Prohibition Party candidate and received approximately 1,896 votes. You might be from St. Louis if... you don't remember his name on your ballot and you aren't a beer hating hippie from Colorado (Colorado and Louisiana were the only two states where Gene and his vp pick, Leroy Pletten, appeared on the ballot). Further evidence that everyone from Colorado is a hippie that hates beer:in the 2004 presidential race there were two Prohibition Party candidates on Colorado's ballot, our friend Gene and Earl F. Dodge.

Gene promises to be a president that will follow through on his only campaign promise: to rid the country of alcohol. His dedication and tenacity are evidenced by his many anti-booze advocacy activities. When not preparing for go time on November 4th Gene can be found outside of St. Louis's AB factory, among other alcohol production facilities, picketing while dressed as the Grim Reaper. His commitment goes beyond demonstrations; he is also available to make appearances as a Billy Sunday impersonator and to speak for church groups. Gene's campaign flier states that his party, "Is the only party not controlled by the tobacco and alcohol company, but also adds he will accept their dollars for his campaign.”

Gene's campaign website gives voters a holistic view of him as a painter, politician, and single man looking for love. On the site he openly discusses his campaign issue, his children, his hydrocar, and his quest to find a wife before winter.

You can see Gene's campaign video by clicking on [tab:video]. Whatever you do, whomever you vote for, don't forget to vote on November 4th!

Halloween is almost upon us.  So I thought I’d take a few moments to offer a tutorial on what not to hand out this year.  Remember, you were a kid once too and you didn’t want any of this stuff either.  So if you were planning on doling out any of this stuff, do everyone a favor and just turn your porch light off.  Sure your, neighbors might mistake your lack of Halloween spirit as a sign that you’re a registered sex-offender.  But they’ll respect that more than you giving out any of this stuff.

Dum Dum Pops

The world's smallest sucker.  How many times have you eaten a sucker only to think to yourself, “Man, this is a good sucker.  In fact, it’s so good, I wish there were less of it.”  Whoever invented the Dum Dum Pop is a true visionary.  Sure, suckers are always a choking hazard, but are they enough of a choking hazard?  Well, one man looked at the suckers of his day and said, “No!  Suckers can be a bigger a choking hazard, if only they were smaller.”  And that’s how Dum Dum Pops were born.  It’s irony on a stick.

Apples

All right!  Someone just put something in my bag that weighs a pound-and-a-half and will crush ¾ of my candy only to then tear a hole in my bag and cause me to leave a Hansel & Gretel-esque trail of candy around the neighborhood.  And, just to add insult to injury, even if I wanted to eat the apple (which I don’t) my parents wouldn’t let me because it’s so chocked full of razors that a famous logician almost named his theory Occam’s Apple.

Anything Homemade

I don’t care if you’re Martha Stewart.  People don’t want your popcorn balls.  “But these are the best because their made with love.”  Trust me, nobody wants to eat some strange old lady’s “love”.

Toothbrushes

My kids already own toothbrushes, but thanks for your condescension.  Do you walk around the gym handing out bars of soap and deodorant?  No, you don’t.   Just because those people stink doesn’t mean that all they ever do is stink.  And just because my kids eats candy doesn’t mean that that they don’t brush their teeth.

Look, we get it, you’re a dentist.  But everyone in the neighborhood already knew that, didn’t they?  Well, now they also know you’re an a-hole.  Congrats!

It’s Halloween, ok?  The whole holiday is about candy.  Getting a toothbrush on Halloween is like your wife giving you a Cordell & Cordell gift certificate for Valentine’s Day or making pork chops for Chanukah.  It destroys the “reason for the season”. 

Box Of Raisins

Raisins look like rabbit poop, which coincidentally, most kids would prefer to a box of raisins.  These are the edible equivalent of toothbrushes.  And they’ll most likely be crushed by that apple your about to get.  Mmmmmm, squished raisins.  Yum!

Religious Pamphlets

What this?  You love Jesus?  Why, no one on the block ever knew that.  For some reason we all missed your green yard sign that says “Jesus” in white lettering…and your bumper sticker that says “My boss is a non-union carpenter”…oh, and the “Michael W. Smith” shirt that you wear every day, we missed that too…so you know what, kids don’t really need your pamphlet that ends with trick-or-treaters burning in the hell fires of Gehenna. 

The worst are the Christian “comic books” that I used to get as a kid.  Look, you’re not tricking anybody.  It’s not like anyone has ever got to the end of one of those comic books and said to themselves, “Hey, that wasn’t Batman…that was Jesus.”

Candy Corn

Candy corn.  Think about it.  Is there candy broccoli?  Candy lima beans?  Candy asparagus?  Who wants a candy version of a vegetable?    Click [tab:video] for the best argument against candy corn.

Honorable Mentions

Root Beer Barrels, Circus Peanuts, anything sugar-free and Strawberry Delights (those individually-wrapped-to-look-like-a-strawberry candies that gush when you bite into them).