The Toast - 1.30.09 - Jessica Simpson Gets Fat And Tears On American Idol

My dear, you look famished...how about some Toast? Here's what happened in Hollywood this week:

Star Gazing

 

Jessica Simpson got a bit fat for a gig at a chili cookoff in Florida. Apparently, the singer really wanted to blend in with her surroundings. As photos of the newly chunkified pop star circulated, her sister Ashlee defended Jessica via blog, but this is the same lady that named her kid Bronx, so who really cares?

 

 

Evan Rachel Wood and Mikey Rourke took their chemistry off the screen this week. The two stars of The Wrestler locked lips all over Los Angeles in a photo display that has thousands of people vomiting on their computer monitors.

 

 

David Beckham might be staying in Milan a bit longer than expected. The soccer phenom and his wife, Need To Eat Something Spice, are reportedly at odds over David's desire to stay in Italy and leave his U.S. soccer contract behind.

 

 

Tube Talk

 

American Idol saw a combination of tears, lesbian embraces, and God-awful vocals as the show hosted auditions in New York, San Juan, Salt Lake City, and Jacksonville. In protest in her increased insignificance, Paula Abdul staged a walkout, but nobody noticed.

 

 

Lisa Rinna says she's making no secret of her desire to once again star in Melrose Place. The CW network in planning an upcoming remake of the series, and Lisa threw shame to the wind this week by telling reporters to have the show's producers call her.

 

 

The end is apparently approaching for Ugly Betty, as ABC execs are planning to shelve the show to make room for another round of Samantha Who. Sucks for America Ferrera, kicks tail for Christina Applegate fans.

 

 

Reel World

 

Hey, be sure to not see New In Town! The romantic comedy hits theaters this weekend and offers moviegoers a tired old plot and enough Minnesota bashing to cause a riot up north.

 

 

 

Liam Neeson opens up a can with Taken. The revenge film tells the tale of a CIA dude looking to destroy anyone who stands between him and his kidnapped daughter...good times!

 

 

 

The Univited brings good old Korean horror to the big screen. In this one, Emily Browning stars as an unstable youngster butting heads with her stepmom-to-be over the fact that she may be a murderer...I really don't see what the big deal is with that, but whatever.

 

That, and an insane amount more awaits you, so click the Featured Video tab to get started.

Bonus: Check out our new field reporter Ray! It's his first day on the job, so cut him some slack.