How Barbie is Celebrating Her 50th Birthday

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Today Barbie Millicent Roberts, you can just call her Barbie, turns fifty years old. To celebrate her invasion of little girls' toy boxes around the world Mattel is rolling out the pink carpet at a real-life Barbie dream house in Malibu where celebs will be sipping pink cocktails, dancing to DJ AM and mill around a party planned by Oprah-disciple-come-celebrity-party-planner Colin Cowie.

In addition to releasing an updated version of the original doll that hit shelves 50 years ago, some rumblings about limited edition St. Louis Barbies have been heard. Read on to find out what your neighborhood's Barbie would be like [this comes to us via a widely circulated joke email].

Clayton Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at Plaza Frontenac. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and Louis Vuitton Handbags, a diamond studded Rolex watch, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Chesterfield Barbie
The trendy homemaker is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone and velor gym suit sold separately.

Town and Country Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Ladue Barbie
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available.

U City Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow.

Though the St. Louis Barbies aren't really going to be hitting store shelves, the updated version of the original Barbie will be in Toys R Us stores until March 20 and will only cost $3.